i hate how much i love you

dear sid

yesterday was ok.. well im trying to.. same  routines.. office, school, house..

sleeping time. books where read, prayers where said, a little bit of kiddin around.. a typical family bonding before going to sleep.. but when the lights where out.. i turned to my opposite side to his.. and cried.. ive been wanting to cry the whole day.. but ive been keeping myself busy.. i can feel the pain but i want to ignore it.. but when its dark.. still im empty.. im alone.. and i can feel the pain.. the intensity, it was like it was connected to someone elses pain.. i closed my eyes trying to sleep.. then i saw you.. i know your in much pain as i am.. still i kept asking myself, did i chose right? is hurting you worth it? i know that the answer is too early to tell..

im missin you so much..

you said i deserve your respect.. and your love.. i want that.. and im giving it all up..

i want you to be happy.

-sam