a man who cant move

i havent realized how much i miss you not until what we did today.. huwaw moment as i may call it.. it started when i slipped calling you sweetie once again.. i missed that cause i havent said that word quite often now.. your kisses felt so good i got carried away.. i missed your lips, your hands with mine, your closeness.. i can still feel it up to now.. even when i close my eyes i can imagine what might have been if we dont have that limited space my car could offer.. but i must say ur body changed a lot.. i was so turned on by it.. what we had today reminded me of those early part of our relationship.. we always had those moment.. kissing like we will run out of it.. not minding if someone  might caught us, just having the moment that the time had given us.. it was all worth it..

not unitl the reality bites.. i had to be back where i should be..

place where i dont belong to you.

i hate how much i love you

dear sid

yesterday was ok.. well im trying to.. same  routines.. office, school, house..

sleeping time. books where read, prayers where said, a little bit of kiddin around.. a typical family bonding before going to sleep.. but when the lights where out.. i turned to my opposite side to his.. and cried.. ive been wanting to cry the whole day.. but ive been keeping myself busy.. i can feel the pain but i want to ignore it.. but when its dark.. still im empty.. im alone.. and i can feel the pain.. the intensity, it was like it was connected to someone elses pain.. i closed my eyes trying to sleep.. then i saw you.. i know your in much pain as i am.. still i kept asking myself, did i chose right? is hurting you worth it? i know that the answer is too early to tell..

im missin you so much..

you said i deserve your respect.. and your love.. i want that.. and im giving it all up..

i want you to be happy.

-sam